August/September 2010 Newsletter
Hello to All,
Well, it’s been quite a long time since I sat down and wrote a newsletter. There are no excuses only slight regrets that I didn’t do it sooner.
I hope you had a fantastic summer and that you’ve effortlessly settled back into the “school” routine. Whether you have school-aged children, are a student yourself or not, doesn’t matter. Somehow, everyone seems to be affected by the beginning of the school season.
Last Monday, as I left for work, I encountered the most horrendous traffic jam on the freeway. Bumper-to-bumper cars were seen for miles and all I could think of was “thank God I’m going in the opposite direction” and “there are going to be hundreds of children late for their first day of school.” Why do you think people wait until the last minute to get into their cars and begin a journey that they know hundreds, even thousands, of others are also embarking on at the same time? Beats me.
Maybe it has something to do with wanting to miss the long lines in traffic and hoping that if you wait till the last minute the traffic will have subsided. Maybe it has something to do with poor time management or simply having difficulty with changing a routine/habit to something that is more functional in the moment. Whatever the reason, the end result is the same—getting stuck in traffic.
“Getting stuck” in traffic may just be a metaphor for “getting stuck” or “being stuck” in your life. I often reflect on my life and wonder if I’m stuck in the past and just can’t see it. On the one side, it can be as simple as being stuck with an outdated hairdo or style of dress—something that you may not even be aware of until someone, hopefully kindly, mentions it or you “suddenly” see yourself reflected in a mirror and recognize the antiquated “stuck” aspect of your appearance.
On the other side, it can be about “being stuck” in your opinions, beliefs, or in a lifestyle that no longer suites you and which is much more difficult to detect. I notice that the more I’m used to doing something or being a certain way, the harder it is for me to recognize that I may be “stuck” in something that no longer serves me for my highest good. Take for example, most of the last twenty years of my life.
During this time I was fortunate enough to live a life where I spent much of my time and resources in service to others. I did not look at myself, at my time involvement, or my resources as anything more than gifts to be given to others. This was often at the determent to myself, as the discernment was lacking, and the odd thing was that I wasn’t really aware there was anything out of alignment with me in my life. Eight years ago, when I dislocated my ankle and broke it in three places, I saw, for the first time, a glimmer of what it was like to temporarily not be able to help others. It felt very foreign and I began having guilt feelings because of it. Looking back now, I realize how unhealthy those guilt feelings were and how they were setting me up for difficult times ahead.
What happens to you when you feel guilty? My pattern was to “do” something for someone. The more guilty I felt, the more I would “do” as a result, hoping the guilt feelings would go away or be washed away by my good deeds. Wrong!!! All it did was dis-empower me with feelings of unworthiness. The more unworthy I felt, of course, the more I would do, give, or be for others to prove to them that I was good and worthwhile. If I decided to stop the giving, for whatever reason, the negative backlash I incurred was enormous! It took me a very long time to understand why people became upset with me when I said “no!” and it’s something that I’m still looking at.
To this day, I sometimes experience situations where people expect me to give something to them without any thought of compensation. Never would I ask, or expect, someone to perform a service and not pay so why would someone expect not to pay me??? It’s happened more than once, of late, so I’m looking into this matter a little deeper.
During these past twenty years, up until a couple of years ago, I never asked, received, nor expected compensation for my services as I gave them freely. Now I’m wondering if I did others and myself a grave disservice. By that I mean, if I didn’t put a value on my time, my services, or myself how could I expect others to put a value on them either? Did I create an atmosphere of indebtedness for those whom I thought I was helping? There obviously wasn’t an equal exchange of energy and I guess I’m at fault, at least in part, for not allowing others to give back in return but somehow the situation still exists and I want to become “unstuck” with this old way of being.
As I no longer have unlimited amounts of personal time available, due to work, I have come to truly value the time that I do have and I’m realizing that my time has always been valuable but I just didn’t realize it. I thought my time was limitless and that I had so much more time to spare. Wrong!!! It’s all a matter of perception, not reality. Time is time and is relative. It’s what you do with your time that is important—how your value it, how you appreciate it, and how you utilize it. Don’t waste your time and your life. Do something that will make a difference in the lives of others—not because it makes you feel good, but because it’s what you were destined to do.
IMPORTANT NEWS:
Derek O’Neill has released his book titled More Truth Will Set You Free which can be purchased on his website www.sq-wellness.com or on www.amazon.com. This is a book filled with treasures and jewels that can help transform your life for the better. It is a must read for those seeking greater understanding and direction within their everyday lives. It speaks to the heart and soul and written in a very easy-to-read manner. Give yourself the gift of heightened awareness by buying this book. You won’t be disappointed.
In closing: Understand that you are the creator of your life so if you aren’t happy with the way things are going, change them. Find your passion and follow your inner guidance. They won’t lead you astray.
Wishing you a life filled with an abundance of joyful discoveries and may you come to know and love the beauty that lies within.
May love, peace, and joy be your playmates and may God's abundance and blessings find their way into your hearts.
Love to All!
Bianca Guerra
Past Newsletters
January 2009
December 2008
Tel: (210) 698-6392
Bianca Productions™
